So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Found the puke drawer
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
