lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
