they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
