didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
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