This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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