soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"