Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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