Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I looked at my own cervix.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Randomize
