i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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