I cockslap morals
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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