wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I understand Curling. That high.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
