I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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