What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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