a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Shame - the story of my life.
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