yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He kissed a someone with a penis
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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