im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
