I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
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I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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