Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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