I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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