I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize