Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
