So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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