Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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