he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
