i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
