His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
