I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
FUCK WHALES
Come on in and take your pants off
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