bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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