I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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