I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
