4 words: hood of his car
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
