I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
