So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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