Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
its liver damage thursday
Randomize