I want to have your abortion
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize