Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Mom said you looked used
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
