Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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