Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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