Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
