There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
