once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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