My nipple is on Facebook.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
