take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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