He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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