Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
