And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
