just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
