You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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