sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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