Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
