After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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