The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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