I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
