Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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